In my garden I have a bunch of lettuce babies which now have leaves just about big enough to pluck.
But when I went to gather some for supper last night several of them had become slime-covered nubs. WTF?
Of course I knew who the culprits were. Unfortunately they don’t come out till after dark. So at 9:30 I fetched my flashlight and my clippers for the hunt.
I thought I’d see one big slug. HA! It was a family of four, all about three inches long – each on his/her own lettuce leaf which was bent to the ground from the weight of the hungry beast.
This is where the clippers come in. You can’t step on these monsters because they just ooze into the soft dirt unharmed, so (apologies in advance for grossing you out) I clipped each one in half.
Do I feel bad about this murderous act? No. They could have chosen all sorts of other tasty vegetation – but they crossed the line by going for my lettuces. And they’re not exactly sympathetic characters: if you don’t move the bodies away from the plants their cannibalistic buddies come out and eat them.
You thought that was disgusting. The worst part of this process is trying to wash the slime off the clippers.