Tag Archives: Sarah Palin

Palin’s Party now…

Palin: n. Alaska’s almost former governor, who giddily and incoherently quit her job last week. (“No more politics as usual!”)

Party: n. that would be the Republican party, the party of the hypocritical Christian right

I hoped never again to have to use the P word that ends -alin. But here we are, confronting that woman from Wasilla.  Frank Rich at the NY Times says:

In the aftermath of her decision to drop out and cash in, Palin’s standing in the G.O.P. actually rose in the USA Today/Gallup poll. No less than 71 percent of Republicans said they would vote for her for president. That overwhelming majority isn’t just the “base” of the Republican Party that liberals and conservatives alike tend to ghettoize as a rump backwater minority. It is the party, or what remains of it in the Barack Obama era.

71% of Republicans would trust this woman to be the CEO of this country???? To keep the economy on an even keel? to negotiate with Iran or North Korea? to resolve the health care crisis? even to bake cupcakes for Piper’s birthday?

That’s why Palin won’t go gently into the good night, much as some Republicans in Washington might wish. She is not just the party’s biggest star and most charismatic television performer; she is its only star and charismatic performer. Most important, she stands for a genuine movement: a dwindling white nonurban America that is aflame with grievances and awash in self-pity as the country hurtles into the 21st century and leaves it behind. Palin gives this movement a major party brand and political plausibility that its open-throated media auxiliary, exemplified by Glenn Beck, cannot. She loves the spotlight, can raise millions of dollars and has no discernible reason to go fishing now except for self-promotional photo ops.

The essence of Palinism is emotional, not ideological. Yes, she is of the religious right, even if she winks literally and figuratively at her own daughter’s flagrant disregard of abstinence and marriage. But family-values politics, now more devalued than the dollar by the philandering of ostentatiously Christian Republican politicians, can only take her so far. The real wave she’s riding is a loud, resonant surge of resentment and victimization that’s larger than issues like abortion and gay civil rights.

And the scary thing is that to the 71% of Republicans who would vote for her, being an uneducated gun-totin’ religious fanatic is a PLUS! Don’t give me facts, give me red meat.   Don’t give me a hand up, give me a pitchfork.

Resentment is toxic, and that’s what Palinistas feed on. I only hope the remaining 29% of relatively sane Republicans can bring a sufficient number of their party buddies around or the GOP is doomed.

Or America is.

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Prematurely plowing: Palin seeking open door

Premature: adj. happening, arriving, existing, or performed before the proper, usual, or intended time

Plow: v. to cleave the surface of or move through

Sarah Palin was interviewed yesterday on Fox News. Here’s what she said when asked if she’d run in 2012:

Palin said she will rely on faith. “Putting my life in my creator’s hands — this is what I always do,” she said.

“This is what I always do. I’m like, O.K., God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I’m like, don’t let me miss the open door. Show me where the open door is. Even if it’s cracked up a little bit, maybe I’ll plow right on through that and maybe prematurely plow through it, but don’t let me miss an open door. And if there is an open door in ‘12 or four years later, and if it is something that is going to be good for my family, for my state, for my nation, an opportunity for me, then I’ll plow through that door.”

I’m like, OK, God, if Sarah Palin tries to plow through another national door, I’m like, ya know, may it be made of 12″ thick concrete.

Pile on Palin: “Wasilla Hillbillies” even offend McCain aides

Pile on: v. slang  To dump insults on someone

New book in the works: “Sarah and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” (Apologies to Judith Viorst who is a devoted Democrat.)  It’s been a bad 24 hours for our Sarah…

First she lost her chance to be President.  (I know she said she was running for Vice, but you don’t think McCain would survive long with her in the building unless he hired himself a food-taster, do you?)  At the concession speech she didn’t look sad, she looked PISSED OFF.

Next, Newsweek uncovers a nasty addendum to the $150,000 wardrobe story:

NEWSWEEK has also learned that Palin’s shopping spree at high-end department stores was more extensive than previously reported. While publicly supporting Palin, McCain’s top advisers privately fumed at what they regarded as her outrageous profligacy.

One senior aide said that Nicolle Wallace had told Palin to buy three suits for the convention and hire a stylist. But instead, the vice presidential nominee began buying for herself and her family–clothes and accessories from top stores such as Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus. According to two knowledgeable sources, a vast majority of the clothes were bought by a wealthy donor, who was shocked when he got the bill.

Palin also used low-level staffers to buy some of the clothes on their credit cards. The McCain campaign found out last week when the aides sought reimbursement. One aide estimated that she spent “tens of thousands” more than the reported $150,000, and that $20,000 to $40,000 went to buy clothes for her husband. Some articles of clothing have apparently been lost.

An angry aide characterized the shopping spree as “Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast,” and said the truth will eventually come out when the Republican Party audits its books.

Ouch! But wait, there’s more.

Fox News’ (yes, I said Fox!) Shepherd Smith and Carl Cameron share the behind the scenes Palin temper tantrums, stupidity and willful ignorance. This is pretty devastating:

And Cameron says there’s more dirt where that came from. I so wanted never to have to write about this horrid woman again.  But I’d rather drive a stake into her heart now, so that maybe she won’t re-rear her head (like Putin over Alaska) on the national stage again. BYE BYE, Sarah – Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

Pants-off panicked by Palin pick; plumber plummets too.

Polls are showing that Sarah Palin is now a serious drag on the MCain campaign, as 59% of those polled by  CBS/NYTimes say she’s not qualified to be VP.

Because she used so many P-words, and because I love this NY Times columnist even if she used no P-words, here’s what Gail Collins said today:

The polls also suggest that Sarah Palin has, in two short months, managed to scare the pants off large portions of the population. Confidence seems to be plummeting not only in her own qualifications but in McCain’s overall ability to pick good assistants. These concerns were probably not allayed by the candidate’s promise to take Joe the Plumber to Washington with him.

Meanwhile, a different hockey mama prefers Obama:

Primping at a price: Palin pays for polish

Primp: v. to dress, adorn, or arrange in a careful or finicky manner

Price: n. the terms for the sake of which something is done

Polish: n. a highly developed, finished, or refined state

Whatever else her defects (ignorance, shamelessness, dishonesty, bully tactics, racism, tax cheat, etc etc), Palin’s personal grooming habits should put her out of the running. America cannot afford this expensive a doll in or near the White House.

A few days ago we heard about her $150,000 wardrobe. Today we learn about how much it costs to keep her face and hair looking so perfect. From today’s NY Times:

Who was the highest paid individual in Senator John McCain’s presidential campaign during the first half of October as it headed down the homestretch?

Not Randy Scheunemann, Mr. McCain’s chief foreign policy adviser; not Nicolle Wallace, his senior communications staffer. It was Amy Strozzi, Gov. Sarah Palin’s traveling makeup artist, according to a new filing with the Federal Election Commission on Thursday night.

Ms. Strozzi, who was nominated for an Emmy award for her makeup work on the television show “So You Think You Can Dance?”, was paid $22,800 for the first two weeks of October alone, according to the records. The campaign categorized Ms. Strozzi’s payment as “Personnel Svc/Equipment.”

In addition, Angela Lew, who is Ms. Palin’s traveling hair stylist, got $10,000 for “Communications Consulting” in the first half of October.

Right.  “Communications.”

Now that I know what it takes to be a VP candidate, I think I could do it too – and I could do it for half the price.  Even though I’m not as young as Palin is, I’d still look like a million bucks. Who wouldn’t???

Piper’s purse – real ($$$) or fake (Chinese knockoff) ?

Piper: n. daughter of moose-hunting hockey mom from Russia’s neighbor state

Purse: n. a handbag carried (usually) by women. Originally a practical accessory that held a wallet, comb, mirror, lipstick and glasses case. Today outsized bags are a major fashion statement and can cost thousands of dollars.

Piper is unquestionably the most appealing member of the entire Palin clan, so it really pissed me off to see this six-year-old child turned into a little RNC fashion plate with her new purse:

This is either an expen$ive Louis Vuitton bag (part of the Palin shopping spree) or a Chinese knockoff made by workers at slave wages.  It wouldn’t do to have the VP candidate’s daughter carry a “Hello Kitty” purse like a regular kid.

Especially if someone else is paying for it.  Some say it’s the real thing, worth about $3000; others say it could be had for less than $500; others say it could be had on a Manhattan side street for $10.

There are moral values and there are financial values. I say Mom Palin lacks both.

Poetry poking fun at McPalin: PFAW’s haiku contest

People for the American Way is having a McPalin Haiku contest. Go to the website and pick your favorite. Here were a few I thought were worthy.

Habeas corpus
And that pesky Bill of Rights.
Who needs’ em? WINK. WINK.  — Jean Hall

Do you want McCain
To choose a Supreme Court judge
Like he chose Palin?  — Scott & Susan Hanway

Palin knows nothing
About the Constitution.
Puppets don’t have to.   — Madeleine Kane

Dust thick on text books.
Evolution was a fad.
Science dead? You betcha.  — Laura Welch

The Constitution
Now in the toilet by Bush
McCain will flush it   — Karl Kauffman